The Skill of Presence
Most coach training programs teach you what to do.
This program teaches you how to be.
Become a different kind of practitioner: one who can hold depth in a shallow world.
What happens when someone falls apart in front of you?
When grief fills the room like a flood, when the trauma that's been buried for years finally surfaces… When they look at you with the big eyes of a scared little child, silently asking: Can you hold this?
Can you?
Not with a technique, a script, or the perfect reframe or the right question. Can you hold them with your presence?
Because that's what deep healing needs. We are taught to have answers and tools, but at the core of healing is the need for someone who can be the solid ground when everything else is shaking.
Someone who can witness, hold, guide, and love without feeling lost, scared, or overwhelmed.
True healing needs another human being who feels safe and who walks alongside you in the dark.
The World Has Enough Surface-Level Coaches
Every year, thousands of people are certified in coaching techniques.
They learn frameworks, questions, models, scripts.
They learn frameworks, questions, models, scripts.
And then they sit across from a real human being… someone whose nervous system is screaming, whose trauma is leaking into every conversation, whose parts are at war, and it all falls apart.
The techniques are not enough.
Because no one taught them how to be when a client floods.
How to remain grounded when someone dissociates.
How to hold space for rage without absorbing it.
How to care without attachment.
How to witness shadow without flinching.
And how not to bring it all home, like a heavy blanket they cannot shake.
How to remain grounded when someone dissociates.
How to hold space for rage without absorbing it.
How to care without attachment.
How to witness shadow without flinching.
And how not to bring it all home, like a heavy blanket they cannot shake.
No one taught them that presence is the container, and without a proper container, no true healing can and will happen.
So they do what they were trained to do: they try to fix. They offer solutions. They give advice. They redirect to the positive. They keep things surface-level because going deeper feels unsafe.
And their clients stay stuck.
They were taught techniques when what they needed first was the capacity to be a safe home for another human being.
This is what's missing in coaching, therapy, and healing work everywhere.
This training exists so that you can be that safe home.
What You Will Learn
Over 12 weeks, you'll learn to become the kind of practitioner whose very presence creates the conditions for transformation.
After this training you will have developed the capacity to:
Hold someone's system when it's collapsing
without absorbing their collapse into yours
Stay grounded in the presence of overwhelming emotion
grief, rage, shame, terror—without needing to fix it or make it stop, so that true healing can happen
Create safety that can be felt, not just performed
the kind of safety that happens in your body first, then extends into the room
Guide without attachment
to be fully present with someone's pain without needing them to heal on your timeline because you cannot stand it anymore, or because you don't know how to "get them out of it" safely
Witness without projection
to see someone clearly without overlaying your own story, your own needs, your own unhealed parts and patters
Maintain boundaries that protect your energy
so you can do deep work without burning out, taking on their trauma, or losing yourself in the process
This is more than just learning what to do, it's about becoming the kind of person who not just hold depth, but confidently navigating through its many layers.
The Journey: Building Your Capacity for Presence
Most training programs front-load content. This program inverts that entirely.
Every phase is about deepening your capacity to BE with someone in their transformation, and practice it with others so that it becomes second nature (find more below in the page).
PHASE 1
The Architecture of Safety
Becoming the Solid Ground (Who am I in this moment?)
You cannot hold space for someone else until you can hold it for yourself.
This phase is about building your own internal architecture of safety and learning how to be the steady presence someone needs when their world is falling apart.
What you're learning:
- The neurobiology of safety: what actually creates felt safety in a room versus what just looks like safety (posture, energy, gaze, source)
- Facing your own shadow and wounds so you're not afraid of theirs (Self-Awareness + Radical Honesty)
- How to ground yourself before a session or interaction so that you are open and not protected
- How to recognize when you are activated (and create space before you try to help someone else)
- The "Safe Home" protocol: how to become the kind of presence someone can collapse into without fear
- How to stay in your body when someone else is leaving theirs
The transformation: From "I need to have it together" → "I am the solid ground they can lean on and land on"
By the end of this phase, you're no longer trying to DO something to make them feel safe. You know how safety feels in your body and know how to ground yourself.
When new clients meet me for the first time, they often apologize for crying "I'm so sorry" they would say "I never cry, I don't even know what's going on". This is the power of presence and how it allows wounds and fears to show themselves, even with a "stranger" they have never met before.
PHASE 2
The Relational Field
Learning to Dance (What's happening between us?)
Most practitioners listen with their ears. You're going to learn to listen with your whole body: I call it Sensing. This phase teaches you to track what's happening in the room—not just in words, but in breath, posture, energy, the space between sentences.
You will feel when someone is moving toward dissociation before they know it themselves, and to sense when shutdown is happening under a smile, learning to navigate the subtle dynamics of the relational space.
What you're learning:
- The difference between compassion (feeling with) and empathy (feeling as) and how to use each at the right time
- How to track what's happening between you and the client ( how to sense into the relational field)
- Staying present when they project onto you, and noticing when you project onto them
- "Is this mine or theirs?" - noticing what is happening inside (yourself and them)
- How to stay grounded when a client floods, dissociates, or collapses (the Anchor and Waiting Room techniques)
- Boundaries as love: how to be fully WITH someone without becoming them
The transformation: From "I'm afraid of their big emotions" → "I can witness their storm without getting wet"
By the end of this phase, you will stop being a sponge and start being a container, with a clear sense of you that is separate from them.
"When Mike's grief finally surfaced after 40 years of 'being fine,' he looked at me with terror in his eyes, as if the grief might destroy him. I didn't try to make it smaller, or redirect him to gratitude or growth.
I didn't feel scared, I knew exactly how to welcome it, as I sat with him in his grief like it was the most natural thing in the world.I invited him to get closer to it, to feel it deeply, to let it take over. And as it did, he cried his heart out and collapsed on the floor until there were no tears left.
That's when he could finally see what was underneath all that grief, and reconnect with that baby who felt abandoned and unloved. It was Mike's turn to hold space, this time for a young part of himself."
PHASE 3
The Loving Witness
Holding Space for All (How do I remain present when it gets hard?)
This phase is about learning to hold the complexity of a human being—the parts that are at war, the parts that contradict, the parts someone has spent their whole life trying to avoid.
You'll learn how to be the "Loving Mother" or "Wise Attachment Figure"—the archetype of unconditional love that most people never received and desperately need to truly heal. This is the Presence that allows them to show their deepest wounds without the fear of being rejected, judged, or shamed.
What you're learning:
- How to find the "Loving Witness" within yourself first - noticing your need to fix, explain or make it all go away
- How to witness all their parts without judgment: the angry part, the young part, the self-sabotaging part, the protective part that acts like a tyrant
- The art of unblending: helping someone separate from a part enough to see it with compassion
- How to facilitate someone giving themselves what they never received (reparenting in real time)
- How to embodying, rather than perform
The transformation: From "I need to give them advice" → "I help them access their own wisdom"
You're not the healer. You're the presence that allows them to find the healer within.
What's Included in the Training
Holding Presence Curriculum
This training is about being rather than doing. "Being" doesn't get prompted, it cannot be performed or pretended. It needs to come from within.
And this is why it needs to become second nature.
Below are all the ways that will support and allow your Presence to become second nature.
And this is why it needs to become second nature.
Below are all the ways that will support and allow your Presence to become second nature.
Monthly Live Immersion Sessions
Experiential sessions to learn, feel, and ask questions. You'll feel the work in your own nervous system, practice holding space in real time, and integrate what you're learning in your body—not just your mind.
Weekly Practice Circles (60 minutes)
Small group sessions where you practice being the presence someone needs. You'll take turns being practitioner, client, and witness. You get to choose how often you meet and practice.
Bi-Weekly Supervision Calls
Bring your real or practice sessions, your "I froze when this happened" moments. Get individual guidance on your specific way of holding space and practical feedback to improve. Practice in real time with direct feedback.
Office Hours
Every week I will be available for individual questions and needs in a private space.
24/7 Community Access
A private space for the cohort to process, ask questions, share insights, and support each other between sessions. You'll never be alone in this work.
The Practitioner's Resource Library
Protocols, guided practices, and materials to use for yourself and your clients. Updated continuously.
The Catch Up Week
Life always gets in the way. This training takes it into account, so that you don't end up overwhelmed or fall behind. Every 3 weeks of training you get a week to rest, catch up, clarify what's confusing, reset, and start fresh on the next cycle.
Bonuses
Extra Support for Your Journey
While presence is the foundation, having a toolkit of evidence-based modalities deepens your capacity to meet different clients where they are.
As part of the founding cohort, you'll receive these bonus workshops and be able to participate LIVE and ask your questions.
full training
Internal Family Systems
Learn the most powerful model to safely facilitate healing while holding space for yourself
Internal Family Systems is, even after 12+ years of research, the most transformative and effective model I have used (both personally and professionally).
It allows for ease and clarity even in very challenging situations, with any kind of client.
What you're learning:
- The core of Internal Family Systems - what are Parts, Self, and the concept of Self-Leadership in life
- How to meet the different parts of yourself with curiosity and compassion
- How to bring healing with this powerful modality, both to yourself and your clients
- Experience IFS first hand - each teaching module comes with a meditation that will guide you in meeting your own Parts
Workshop
Sustainable Depth for Practitioners
Integrate Ethics, Boundaries & Identity to Thrive in Depth Work
This special workshop brings everything together: ethics, boundaries, sustainability, and your identity as a facilitator of depth.
You'll learn how to structure your practice so you can do deep work without burning out, and how to trust you are and know enough to do this work.
What you're learning:
- How to structure a depth session from intake to close
- Ethical guidelines for deep work: what's yours to hold, what isn't
- How to protect your energy so you can sustain this work long-term
- How to navigate challenging situations with clients without falling down the spiral of self doubt
- How to use any triggers or material that comes up for you to become a better person and professional
The Skill of Presence Program Is For You If
You are just starting out, or in training:
You've felt the call to hold deeper space.
Maybe you're already working with clients. Maybe you're in training. Maybe you've been the person everyone comes to when they're falling apart. Wherever you are, you know: this is the time to go all-in and become what your heart has been asking for.
You're exhausted by shallow coaching.
You've seen too many practitioners performing competence, offering unhelpful advice, redirecting to the positive because they can't hold the dark. You know there's a different way.
You want to work with trauma, shadow, and the parts we bury.
This isn't about helping people set goals or optimize their routines. This is about the deep, transformational work that touches the core wounds we spend our lives avoiding.
You're terrified you'll make it worse.
You're afraid of going too deep, of opening something you can't close, of retraumatizing someone. This training will teach you how to navigate those fears—not by avoiding depth, but by building your capacity to hold it.
You're willing to do your own work.
You cannot hold space for someone else's shadow if you're running from your own. This training requires you to face your darkness, your defenses, your unhealed parts.
You are already a coach, therapist, or professional, but:
You absorb everything.
After sessions, you feel drained. You carry people's pain home. You don't know where you end and they begin. You need to learn how to hold space without taking it on.
You're willing to do your own work.
You cannot hold space for someone else's shadow if you're running from your own. This training requires you to face your darkness, your defenses, your unhealed parts.
You want to work beyond the mind.
You can analyze anything. But you know transformation happens in the body, in the felt sense, in the places words can't reach. You want to learn how to bridge that gap, for yourself and your clients.
No matter how many trainings you do
- You take on everyone's pain and don't know how to put it down
- You feel drained after every session
- You perform confidence but feel like a fraud
- You know the techniques but can't hold the space
You want to facilitate depth
You are tired of shallow solutions or models that don't teach you how to be with your clients from a grounded and confident place.
You are ready for more.
This Is NOT For You If
1
You're not ready to face your own shadow.
You cannot guide someone into their depths if you haven't been willing to go into yours.
2
You want techniques more than presence.
If you're looking for a program that teaches you techniques and reflection questions, there are better fits. This is about becoming a different kind of practitioner.
3
You prefer surface-level work.
If your vision is life coaching, goal-setting, positive psychology—there are excellent programs for that. This is for practitioners who want to go deeper.
4
You like being the healer
You are attached to the idea of having all the answers, you love giving advice, and you'd rather talk about things than going deeper into how they feel underneath.
Special Invitation
Join the The Founder's Circle
The people joining this first cohort get some special perks:
- you'll help shape this training as we go
- you'll receive additional 1:1 time with me
- limited spots to ensure individualized feedback and supervision.
- a preferential rate only for this cohort
If you've been called to this work, this is your invitation.
Investment & Commitment
This is an investment in becoming a different kind of practitioner: one who can hold true depth and lead to true healing.
Special pricing for the first cohort only:
Option 1: Pay in Full
$1.997
Option 2: Monthly Installments
3 x $700/month
Both options grant you full access to all modules, workshops, and community support. Choose the path that best supports your journey.
Time Commitment:
Monthly immersion sessions: 2 hours
Weekly practice circles: 90 minutes
Bi-weekly supervision: 60 minutes
Bonus workshops
Total: approximately 3-6 hours per week
15-Day Full Refund
I want you to feel completely confident in your decision to join the Depth Practitioner Training.
Join the program, experience the first two weeks, immerse yourself in the content, and connect with the community. If, for any reason, you feel this training isn't the right fit for you, simply email me within 15 days of your purchase for a full refund.
Traditional Coach Training vs Skill of Presence Program
How to Join the Founding Cohort
This cohort has only 12 spots to ensure individualized feedback and supervision.
Step 1: Complete the Application
Fill-out this questionnaire. It will help me understand where you are, what you're working with, and whether this training is the right container for your development.
Step 2: Connection Call
If your application resonates, I'll invite you to a brief call. We'll feel into alignment, you can ask everything you need to know, and we'll both feel into whether this the right fit.
Step 3: Enrollment
If we both feel it's a yes, I'll send your enrollment link. Choose your payment option and receive your welcome materials immediately (including the full Internal Family Systems training).
Hello, I'm Valentina
I'm a Change Expert (MA), Certified Level 3 Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner, Psychedelic Somatic Interactional Therapist (PSIP), and Psychedelic Assisted Therapy facilitator.
I'm also a polymath, lover of learning, mother of twins, and life-obsessed human being. What started as a journey into my own healing from generalized anxiety became a longing to belong. To me. To others. To this world and life. Ultimately to this feeling of joyful expansion that life can be.
The wish to FEEL ALIVE has been my driving force, even before I recognized it as such. My journey led me into meeting all of me, and understanding why so much of me was hidden away and buried deep down.
I've traveled into the depths of my own subconscious and learned how to sit with nightmares I didn't even know about.
I've learned that buried within me, underneath the nightmares and the fear, lived a warmth that could spread throughout my body and felt like Love and Safety.
I learned to fell and follow my heart towards dreams that felt too big, wishes that felt too scary, and made them my reality, one by one.
I've researched and trained in more models I can remember, and I've worked for years in private practice, guiding others to those scary places, sitting with them in the dark, so that they could also find their own light, warmth, and love.
I've researched and trained in more models I can remember, and I've worked for years in private practice, guiding others to those scary places, sitting with them in the dark, so that they could also find their own light, warmth, and love.
The most brilliant, defended, analytically-minded people you'll ever meet find their way to my armchair.
The high-functioning and successful on paper people. Completely disconnected from their bodies and their deepest wounds, and a shaky or non-existing sense of who they are underneath all the protection. A description that also fit me over a decade ago.
They'd been to therapists who used the right techniques but couldn't go deep enough. They'd worked with coaches who kept things positive because going deeper felt dangerous. They'd done years of talk therapy that helped them understand their trauma but never felt it, never integrated it, never let it move through their system.
What they needed, and what they all said after working with me, wasn't another technique, but someone who could be a safe, loving, and welcoming home.
Someone who could hold space:
- for the rage they'd been exiling their whole lives (and handed over a pillow to scream into)
- for the grief they'd been running from (and witnessed it lovingly as it poured out through tears and deep belly sobbing)
- for the shame they thought would destroy them if they ever really looked at it (and stepped in to physically hold their collapse)
Someone who felt so steady that they could finally let themselves collapse—knowing there was solid ground to land on.
That's what this training teaches: the capacity to be the presence that makes transformation possible.
The world is full of coaches with scripts.
What people really need are professionals who can hold depth and guide to true healing.
What people really need are professionals who can hold depth and guide to true healing.
Common Questions
1
"Is this therapy training?"
No. This teaches you how to hold transformational space—which therapists, coaches, healers, and facilitators all need. You will also learn techniques and tools, but the focus is presence.
2
"What if I've never worked with clients before?"
That's fine. This training is about building capacity, expanding your awareness (in yourself and others), and learning how to hold space. It will prepare you in the best possible way for when you will feel ready to start working with clients.
3
"Can I do this alongside my full-time job?"
Yes, absolutely. Just make sure you also have some time to rest and reflect, as this work tends to bring unresolved material to the surface.
4
"What if I'm already certified in trauma work?"
Perfect. This will teach you what those certifications couldn't: how to embody the presence that makes those tools effective. We can explore whether this is a good fit in our application call.
5
"What if I'm not a coach yet, is this for me?"
Yes. You will get access to a full 11-hour Internal Family Systems training that will teach you how to use the most effective model to facilitate depth. You will learn the tools AND how to be present at the same time - this is the most powerful combo.
Are you ready to become the presence that creates transformation?